I’ve gone 6 months alone working full time as a linecook and living on the couch of my drug addict father for 3 months and now in my grandmothers home. She is giving me until May 1st, to find somewhere else to go or I will be in a shelter or on the streets for refusing to leave the father of my daughter because he’s simply a Jamaican man.
We lost a child due to stress-related complications five months prior to this blessing and I’m only 20 so I have faith that I can get everything together on my own, with my fiancée, but we are struggling very much.
We have a 7 year old son as well, fighting for custody and getting an interview in the racist town I live in has been hard for his father although we have both filled out tens and tens of applications on his behalf.
I help take care of my brothers and sisters due to my mom facing hard times as well.
My father has stolen money from me over and over and along with drug use and cigarette smoke in the apartment we shared for those three months got to be unbearable. We stayed in his storage room without a door, we walked 2 miles back and forth with groceries weekly. Moving in here seemed to be the best thing for us but I moved away from my mother’s mother for many reasons and I guess it was naive to think her racist, diagnosed narcissistic ways would be changed by the weeks and weeks without the scariest news we’d ever received prior, that our daughter from our first pregnancy did not make it, resulting in their fizzling idea that they could just cause me to lose our baby.
Many nights I stood outside praying because this experience has been the most beautiful life changing experience I’ve ever faced.
Being pregnant alone is intense and altering but being forced to undergo the changes alone day by day due to even a weekly visit from somebody I love and trust and have been engaged to for almost two years being argument inducing, has opened my eyes to the complete idiocy that is racism.
To struggle to bend down, get dressed, make meals, clean all before working two jobs just because your biological family members blatant disrespect and ignorance towards your ethnicity and nationality, to see how they’d treat you if you were not mixed with their daughters slaveowner heritage, changes you as a woman. To see them take out their stupidity on a man who has changed your world in every positive sense, simply because he is a man of color is a different game I’ve never expected to have to play simply to have somewhere to stay.
Please please please please
SHARE THIS . That’s all I’m asking
✨I’m 31 weeks round today…✨
Tbh she’s small for her age; & due to the different things that have happened, a lot of the money I made went to food for my whole family although their hard times affect me getting that money back.
I paid my mother’s rent so my brothers miles away wouldn’t be homeless although she has refused to help me at all with groceries; & my fathers rent so they wouldn’t get evicted as well nor evict us. They did anyway. Then got themselves kicked out.
I was 100 pounds when I got pregnant, finally recovering from the 95 pounds I was a year and a half prior; I’ve been anorexic my whole life.
I grew up with an absent father and an abusive, jealous, racist but desperate for approval mother.
The last thing I want my daughter to go through, is understanding being hungry.
And at 30 weeks old, she’s already experiencing sadly through me but you know what I mean?, the anger of being homeless and hungry and malnourished…
I had to get my prenatals refunded because I needed the money for groceries.
It’s pathetic and I’m angry and I’m trying to keep smiles on our faces because I’ll be damned if I give in to the temptation of falling for monetary based sadness.
But please keep sharing this.
To you, it’s a passing post, to me it is a countdown to even more opportunities for horrible or beautiful things to happen.
Don’t forget about us and our daughter.
We cannot make enough no matter how many jobs we get, in less than two weeks
Unless we start selling weed and let’s be honest, that would cost money too😂😐🤦🏽♀️🤣